Saturday, November 6, 2004

BUZZKILL

A TOOBWORLD THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY

In a Bacardi commercial, two flies are sitting in the park; human-sized insects with human faces. The older of the two laments that he has nothing to show for his long life (24 hours), and he wants the younger one to go for the gusto before it's too late.

The old fly kicks the bucket and the Young Buzz flies off to sow his wild oats. He parties at a rooftop disco; he plays blackjack at a casino; he gets chased around a kitchen and swatted on the rump by a seductive temptress wearing a skimpy French maid's uniform; and then he picks up two party girls and flies them off to a hotel suite.

While hanging from the ceiling to watch them have a pillow fight in their negligees, the fly finally expires.

The moral of the story? "Live Life like you mean it."

It's a funny blipvert, utilizing "quantoon physics" for its 30-second storyline. But as outlandish as it may look, that man-fly is firmly rooted in the TV Landscape.

At some point before September 1990, slightly mad scientist Fred Edison transformed his brother-in-law Harry Orkin into a humanoid fly. Harry made the best of his situation, but it was especially troubling for his wife Idella. The hausfrau couldn't... "hug" her housefly hubbie without squashing him like the bug that he was.

Eventually, the lack of conjugal comforts would have afflicted Flyboy as well. And since he couldn't get no satisfaction from a human female because of his diminutive size, Harry must have turned to the only logical alternative - a female fly.

And, inevitably, there would have been a bunch of flybabies.

Although his genetic spunk would have been tainted by elements of Musca domestica, it was still human DNA. Being more advanced on the evolutionary scale, it would have probably been dominant over the fly genomes when producing progeny.

(Hey, don't quibble with the technobabble unless you've been able to transform a human into a fly!)

Therefore, it's possible that the progeny from the union of man-fly and fly would look for the most part like a fly, but with the TV-traditional human face and human intelligence. And perhaps even the size of human once fully grown.

Unfortunately, it would have been fully grown in the space of a few hours, cursed with the fly's 24 hour lifespan. And so it would be, down through the countless generations of descendants, perhaps even crossbreeding with that Spanish man-fly I've seen in some Telemundo comedy show.

But it looks as though the next generation has taken steps to reverse that trend and to bring a fresh influx of human DNA into the sap of the family tree. We may not have seen it actually transpire during that Bacardi blipvert, but my guess is that Flyboy fu-# boinked each of his bosomy buddies.

If there are children (and don't it always seem to go?), they would begin the evolutionary march back to a more humanoid appearance. But they would also possess mutant abilities unforeseen.

We'll just have to wait and see what kind of Eugenic super-kids we'll get in TV Land in about ten years.....

LOU GRANT: You know what? You've got spunk.
MARY RICHARDS: Well.....
LOU GRANT: I HATE SPUNK!
('The Mary Tyler Moore Show')

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

A NUGGET OF A CROSSOVER!

THE TV CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK

Barbara Ryan has drugged cops, hired a hitman, and even pulled off a triple-play kidnapping. She's got five ex-husbands (probably the norm in most soap operas) and more lovers than she can keep track of.

Is it any wonder then that her son was institutionalized for murder? Like mother, like son.

But at least he can be assured of getting Tyson Chicken Nuggets while in prison!

Tyson has been a time-saver for Barbara Ryan. What with surviving explosions and other soap opera dilemmas, it's a wonder Barbara has had time to eat dinner, let alone make it.

As played by Colleen Zenk Pinter, Barbara Ryan has been appearing in a series of Tyson commercials which are only seen on CBS. And back in October, the product was integrated into the storyline on 'Ast The World Turns' when Barbara's son was served Tyson's nuggets while in jail.

My thanks to TV Guide's "The Insider" for bringing this to our attention.
('As The World Turns' & Tyson ads)

NICOLE SCENE FIT

So I've been thinking about the two different endings for the Nicole Wallace storyline on 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent'. The East Coast got to see the ending in which she escaped; the West Coast saw the finale where the femme fatale was finished off.

For nearly a week both endings were available for viewing at NBC's web site so that people could vote on whether or not Nicole Wallace should live or die. And after the votes were tallied, it was decided she would be back to bedevil Detectives Goren and Eames another day. So in the official canon and timeline of Toobworld, her heart - or lack thereof - will go on.

However.....The most basic tenet of Toobworld is that if it's broadcast, it's part and parcel of the TV Universe. Both endings were broadcast, so who could they both be part of the same TV Universe?

Easy. Same universe; different dimension.

We can thank 'Sliders', one of the Toobworld essentials, for the escape clause. What the West Coasters witnessed was the alternate version that played out in a parallel dimension. Perhaps it was the 'West Wing' World, so they can be assured that Nicole Wallace will never be a threat to President Jed Bartlet.

Or it could be the evil mirror universe made famous by the 'Star Trek' franchise (and "prequelled" in an episode of "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys"). Now, one might think an evil universe might be the place where such a vile character (Nicole was a child-killer!) might flourish. But as every life has a ripple effect in others, perhaps Nicole's death better served Satan's purpose by removing that influence.

But there is yet another theory to splain away both versions of Nicole Wallace's fate; one that would technically keep them both in the same dimension.

We know that the ultimate decision was for her to live. Perhaps originally she did indeed die as seen by the people on the East Coast, but something cosmic intervened to go back in time and change history.

In the version in which she died, Detective Eames shot Nicole twice in the chest. (The pathologist even congratulated her on her shooting skills.)

But what if somebody from the future did a bit of quantum leaping and entered Eames' life; making the choice to miss her target? Somebody with a holographic partner armed with a "Ziggy" computer which worked out the analysis and knew that everything would be better off, surprisingly, if Nicole lived. Once their places were traded back, and the visitor from the future (maybe Sam Beckett, maybe not) leapt out, Alexandra Eames would have not remembered what had transpired.

Well, as Mushrat used to say to Deputy Dawg, "It's pozz'ble, it's pozz'ble."

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

Thursday, November 4, 2004

SUSTAINING AN ELECTION

Now that the election is over here in the Real World and George W. Bush has been elected President for the first time, let's turn our attention to presidential politics in the world of 'The West Wing'.

Executive Producer John Wells has said that no decision has been made as to who the next President will be to succeed Jed Bartlet. But it will be the driving force of the plotlines for the next year (and hopefully longer) on the show.

The two main combatants will be Texan Congressman/Mayor Matthew Santos (Dem.) and Senator Arnold Vinick (Rep.). Santos was set on retiring from Congress - probably before the Texan Republicans hunted him down for sport! - but a chance conversation made him consider the possibility of running.

As for Vinick, he's a four-term senator who had been long expected to make a run for the highest office in the land.

And then there's a third option, the one that should have been considered as "traditional" - Vice President "Bingo" Bob Russell. I'm not sure he has much support outisde of his own Chief of Staff, Will Bailey. And even there, doubts have begun to take root.

So it'll be interesting to see where the various campaigns take us as viewers.

It'll certainly be a welcome diversion from thinking about the current state of affairs in our own world.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

RED SOX [TV] NATION

A wise man named Wayne* once said, with regard to baseball:

What an amazing sport with a subtext that reflects a combination of real life, fairy tales (in the lightest and darkest of senses), mythology, filled with tales of redemption, retribution and the always present sense of unlimited possibilities.
He was talking about the Yankee win in the 2003 ALCS, but it better suits the 2004 season of the Boston Red Sox.


Here was a team that overcame being 3 games down against the Yanks to win the next four games to win the playoffs - Something that had never been done before! - to then go on and sweep the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals.

The astounding story of the Bosox would make for a great tale of fantasy: a band of warriors up against a Ghost, a Curse, and an Evil Empire to the South. One of the players might have found his strength in the length of his hair like Samson; another beat the odds against a grievous foot injury better than Achilles ever could. And the final battle was played out in the shadow of the Great Arch under a total lunar eclipse.....

An account of this season has been chronicled by fan Stephen King the best-selling author of horror fiction, but perhaps W.P. Kinsella, well-known for his baseball fantasies, ought to give their mythic moments his flourish.

Baseball has been the basis for several fantasy movies - "Angels In The Outfield", "Damn Yankees", and "Field Of Dreams" (based on Kinsella's "Shoeless Joe"), although the story of the 2004 Red Sox may be more in keeping with the magic realism of "The Natural". But the reality of the Sox success is now entwined in the magic of the movies, thanks to the Farrelly Brothers. As it became evident that the Bosox just might pull off a miracle after all, the filmmakers (responsible for such movies as "There's Something About Mary" and "Stuck On You") had to quickly rewrite the ending for "Fever Pitch", their movie about a rabid Red Sox fan and the woman who loves him.

And that's why you saw Jimmy Fallon in a lip-lock with Drew Barrymore in the center of the celebrations on the infield after Game Four.

But "Fever Pitch" won't be telling the Bosox Story. For that they would need to make a mini-series! Only with a story spun out over successive evenings could the full glory of this season be told.

That way, all the angles could be played - the hiring of Terry Francona, the trade of Nomar, and the visit by fans to the grave of Babe Ruth. All of the players would get their showcase moments dramatized - David Ortiz and his game winning blasts, the chance for Johnny Damon to finally shine, the agony and the ecstasy surrounding Curt Schilling's ankle, and the pathetic bitch-slap by A-Rod.

Even the darkest shadow on their quest must be recounted - the tragic death of Victoria Snelgrave, the fan who was fatally shot through the eye by a police pepper spray bullet.

As to who should play the players - I'll leave that up to casting experts like Lin Stalmaster or Mary Jo Slater. There must be plenty of unknowns out there with passing resemblance to Pedro, Manny, and Baby Face Epstein. Just so long as they let Wally The Green Monster play himself.......

Maybe there will never be a mini-series based on the first Red Sox championship since 1918, so let's give another option a chance to make the play at the plate while a third idea warms up in the bullpen. (There's no analogy or metaphor I won't take a swing at!)

I have to figure David E. Kelley will write an episode that weaves the World Series into his own series, 'Boston Legal' on ABC. He must love the town - three of his series were set in Beantown ('Legal', 'Boston Public', and 'Ally MacBeal'). And since he relies so heavily on quirky courtroom cases, having James Spader as Alan defending Ted Williams' frozen head would be a Shore thing!

Well... maybe dealing with the Sox legend's noggin should be left to Jordan Cavanaugh, the Boston medical examiner of 'Crossing Jordan' over on NBC. And what better place to showcase a storyline about the Red Sox than in an episode of 'Clubhouse' on CBS? You could even get a few players - like Trot Nixon and Bronson Arroyo; even the principal owner, John Henry - to play themselves.

If this was a perfect TV Universe, that mini-series idea would also be an opportunity to revisit some old friends from long-ago shows. The most obvious choice would be Sam Malone - wouldn't he have been invited to join the victory parade through the streets of Boston as did other past Sox players like Yaz and Pesky? If it had been still on the air, 'Cheers' could have even rushed out a quick opening for an episode; in which Norm and Cliff and Carla are standing outside the bar and watching the parade pass them by.

Calista Flockhart as 'Allie MacBeal', Avery Brooks as Hawk ('Spenser: For Hire'), Mariette Hartley as Jennifer Barnes ('Goodnight, Beantown'), Chi McBride as Principal Harper ('Boston Public'), and even coverage by the guys on 'SportsNight'... these are just a few of the fictional cameos that could proudly grace the parade route.

And they could even take the opportunity to explore the secret labyrinth of passageways beneath Fenway Park, which were revealed in an episode of 'Relic Hunter'!

At the very least, I'm sure there are plenty of big name stars who are Bosox boosters (Matt Damon, Matthew Perry, Lenny Clarke, and Seth Myers), and who would be more than happy to lend their faces to such a project, either as one of that bunch of Idiots (Ben Affleck as Varitek?), or as themselves. (Is Denis Leary a fan?)

Music could be provided by Aerosmith, the Cars, and the J. Geils Band. And Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore could even recreate their movie moment yet again to twist all of the parallel dimensions into a pretzel!

And depending on how today's election turns out, perhaps a scene could be written which would utilize either fan and candidate John Kerry, or Curt Schilling out on the stump for Bush.

BCnU!

Tele-Toby

*I know Wayne's wise. He married Marsha. (It's an Iddiot thang.)

Monday, November 1, 2004

TV Crossover Hall of Fame (November 2004)

With only a day to go (as I write this) before the polls open so that we can pretend we're electing a president, naturally thoughts turn to politics even for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

In the last few years, the inductees in November have been someone connected to the great American tragedy of forty years ago last year. President and Mrs. Kennedy were inducted in 2002 as a couple in the year of the doubles; their son JFK, Jr. was inducted last year; and Walter Cronkite, whose announcement of Kennedy's death was perhaps the most memorable, was chosen in November of 2001 when he celebrated his 85th birthday.

November just has the right mien to showcase those inductees who are newsmakers in TV Land, whether real or fictional. (Or - as with the four mentioned earlier, - a combination of both.)

And even though our theme this year is 'Star Trek' (the original series), it still holds true.

There is a character in the galaxy of 'Trek' who was closely tied to the political process in the Federation of Planets. And although Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan was not a regular, he still played an integral role throughout the franchise, especially in fleshing out the dual nature of his son's character; that of Captain Spock of Starfleet.

We were first introduced to the Vulcan Ambassador on the original series, when we got to see the bonds of love between father and son (despite a communications breakdown) while they were en route to a peace conference on Babel.

Sarek revealed how much he loved his son when requesting the Vulcan High Priestess to restore Spock's katra (his soul) to his body. When it came to his son, Logic failed him. It was an admission not easy for a Vulcan to make.

He also came to the defense of the "mutinous" officers of the Enterprise before the Federation, against charges pushed by the Klingons. However, it became something of a "moot court" once Kirk & Company saved the Earth by bringing whales out of the extinct past.

We also learned that Spock was not Sarek's only son, but the only one who was half-human. Sarek had been married before to a Vulcan "princess", but his wife died in childbirth bringing Sybok into the world.

Many years later, long after his Earth-born second wife Amanda Grayson had died and he had remarried another human named Perrin, Sarek contracted Bendii's Syndrome in his old age. (The disease is something akin to a Vulcan version of Alzheimer's disease.

Thanks to the assistance of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Sarek was able to keep his sanity together long enough to mediate potentially explosive negotiations. Because of the mind-meld involved, Picard was later able to share the remnants of that link with Spock after Sarek passed away.

Sort of a cerebral Shiva.

So, with appearances on two of the 'Star Trek series and in at least three of the franchise films, Ambassador Sarek qualifies for this rather dubious "honor". It may not be as illustrious as acquiring the emblem of the IDIC, but 'twill serve.

Live Long And Prosper.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby

Sunday, October 31, 2004

WEEKLY ROUNDUP

It was a pretty link-loaded week, so let's get crackin'!

THE GREAT LINK
"The Office" told the story of a few people working in a British office working hard to not lose their jobs. It was shown as though it was a BBC documentary about down-sizing ordinary workers in a bland working environment.

A mockumentary about life in a mid-sized suboffice paper merchants in a bleak British industrial town, where manager David Brent thinks he's the coolest, funniest, and most popular boss ever. He isn't. That doesn't stop him from embarrassing himself in front of the cameras on a regular basis, whether from his political sermonizing, his stand-up 'comedy', or his incredibly unique dancing. Meanwhile, long-suffering Tim longs after Dawn the engaged receptionist and keeps himself sane by playing childish practical jokes on his insufferable, army-obsessed deskmate Gareth.

When the series aired the first season, they did not even know how popular it would get in future episodes. The writers at the start did not imagine that a second season would be created; and after bowing to pressure to create one, they would not do it again for a third. The show ended on a high note after two Christmas specials which tied up knots and rounded off wonderfully the first two seasons. But now we have 'The Office Special'.

Picking up three years after he was laid off from Wernham-Hogg, David Brent is barely employed as a door-to-door salesman, having blown his severance on a hellacious cover of ''If You Don't Know Me by Now'' (video included!).

The series wrapped up for good with "The Office Special," which supposes that the BBC documentary crew returned three years after its initial visit to find out how things had changed at the fictional (and relentlessly banal) Wernham Hogg paper products company in drab Slough, England.

In "The Office Special," David Brent is now selling cleaning products, having blown his severance money, which he sued to get, on a disastrously misguided recording career. And the BBC cameras are back, checking in with the office workers and studying what has happened to them in the intervening three years.
(adapted from the review by Tim Goodman, San Francisco Gate)

THE GREAT LINK II
"Once upon a time, there was a boy named John. And John was an astronaut. He lived in a far away place called Earth, which is so far away, you've never heard of it. One day, when John was out doing astronaut things, a big blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him out at the far end of the universe. Things were looking grim in Mudville, till our hero met an amazing living ship, made some nice new friends, and he hooked up with his dream girl.

"We could've lived happily ever after, but the Peacekeepers raped, chased and tortured us for years on end. And two months ago, we got our asses shot off again. This time it was the Scarrans, big reptiles, oooh! And Moya, our living ship, limped her way to your happy planet for a little R&R, because, we figure, it's empty! Hey, no one is gonna bother us.

"Next thing me and the future Mrs Crichton are having a private moment when you guys fly by, boom bada-bing, squiggly line, squiggly line, crystallised. And it's two months later."
- John Crichton
"Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars"

Which is about as good as you can get for a summary of the series 'Farscape', which leads us to:
'FARSCAPE: THE PEACEKEEPER WARS'

In this lavish four-hour series finale, one of the tube's richest character dramas did a dazzling job wrapping the lost-in-space odyssey of its cool cowboy astronaut.

'Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars' gave a strong goodbye to a show that got short shrift when Sci Fi decided in 2002 against funding the show's previously ordered fifth and final season. Which wasn't fair, since the series ended with rock-and-roll astronaut cowboy John Crichton and his pregnant alien warrior squeeze Aeryn Sun blown to crystallized bits right after agreeing to tie the knot. They simply couldn't end the series there.

At least Sci Fi was able to make amends by airing an entire-series repeat leading up to the sequel's premiere, - explaining the Crichton-Aeryn axis, the earthling's coveted knowledge of wormhole technology, the invasion of his consciousness by dastardly cyborg Scorpius, conflict between the nasty Peacekeeper race and the nastier Scarrans, and all those vibrant varied-species pals: D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel. Not to mention their living, sentient spaceship Moya.

Aeryn is pregnant in "The Peacekeeper Wars," (albeit spelled for a bit by surly surrogate Rygel), but the born-and-bred warrior insists on joining a raging skirmish during labor simply because shooting makes her feel better. I've seen 'Murphy Brown' go into labor, and the heroes could have used her warrior birth-rage in that fight as well. Probably Malcolm's mom Lois as well.
('Malcolm In The Middle')

Off-course astronaut Crichton is forever referencing TV shows, rock songs and touchstones such as the Alamo. (He calls the ghost in his head Harvey, like James Stewart's rabbit.) Even though he's a walking, talking Zonk machine, his witty swagger sets a loosey-goosey tone that keeps 'Farscape' from that bane of fantasy fiction: taking itself too seriously. This show likes proceeding off-kilter and it has plenty of opportunities for possible future sequels.
(adapted from the review by Diane Werts of New York Newsday)

THE GREAT LINK III
'Tanner On Tanner' wrapped up its four-episode return to the world of 'Tanner '88' with two great links to other TV series. And appropriately enough for a show that so wonderfully blended reality with fiction, one of those shows was a sitcom and the other was a talk show.

By showing a piece of John Kerry's great acceptance speech at the Boston convention, and by establishing that Jack Tanner had written part of it, 'Tanner On Tanner' could lay claim to kinship with 'Cheers' since Senator Kerry appeared in a quick cameo as himself on that show many years ago.

Later, Jack Tanner appeared with Charlie Rose on his public television talk show, where he dismissed the "rumor" that he had been involved with scripting anything from the speech. This was a big coup for Toobworld - a legitimate link with 'The Charlie Rose Show' without having to rely on somebody appearing who also played themselves on a scripted show. (Legit, but too easy.)
('Tanner On Tanner')

MISSING LINK
During the reunion mini-series for 'Farscape', Scarran Emperor Staleek mentioned that he found it troubling that Humans and Sebaceans could propagate together.

Later, Yondalao, the Eidolon elder, revealed to Aeryn Sun a possible splainin for why it wasn't as difficult as it might have been....

"At the dawn of our period of usefulness, 27000 cycles ago, we developed need of a guard. A race no one had quarrel with. A force to ensure harmony prevailed once negotiations had finished.

"We took great care to choose a species no one had met before. We found your kind primitive, barely clothed, far removed on the galaxy's outer spiral. Having brought some of you back, your evolution was accelerated with generous alterations, until you became our trusted acolytes."

It sounds to me as if Yondalao is referring to the primitive humans of Earth. Perhaps his people harvested an entire community of cavemen for their breeding experiment and turned them into the Peacekeepers.

If so, it could be assumed that the early Eidolons were also those known as the Preservers who seeded worlds with a variety of human cultures. And it could also be argued that if the Eidolons weren't one of the races of the First Ones like the Vorlons and the Shadows, they were at least children of the first generation.
('Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars' & 'Star Trek' & 'Babylon 5')

ZONK
George Lopez fell asleep watching TV while he was wrestling with his conscience over why he had no life insurance.
While he was dreaming, he found himself in three different sitcoms which should have been part of the same universe in which he existed:

'Leave It To Beaver'
'The Munsters'
'The Jetsons'

A few days ago I posted an essay about dream zonks. Feel free to scroll back and find out more about the topic.
('The George Lopez Show')

THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
Less than two weeks after his sudden death, actor Christopher Reeve began appearing in a taped appeal to Californians to vote for a controversial ballot measure that would fund a decade of stem cell research.

Reeve filmed the ad shortly before his death on Oct. 10, but proponents of California's Proposition 71 decided to go forward with the campaign after consulting his family.

"Stem cells have already cured paralysis in animals," Reeve says in the TV spot. "Stem cells are the future of medicine. Please support Proposition 71 and stand up for those who can't."
~~~~~~
While traveling through Stars Hollow, Connecticut, Norman Mailer stopped into the Dragonfly Inn and was interviewed by a reporter. Lorelai and Sookie were initially thrilled when the author showed up repeatedly in the dining room, but Sookie's awe turned to annoyance when Mailer refused to order any food.
('Gilmore Girls')
~~~~~~
Yep, that was Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore making out on the field as the Red Sox celebrated their first World Series title since 1918.

The stars of the upcoming Farrelly brothers movie "Fever Pitch", about a Red Sox fan torn between the woman he loves and the team he worships, were shooting a new happy ending, which had been cobbled together furiously in the wake of Boston's historic run to the championship.

So as the rest of the players swarmed the infield at Busch Stadium in St. Louis on Wednesday night after the team's four-game sweep of the Cardinals, Fallon and Barrymore were in the middle of the madness, with the Farrellys' camera following them.
(The World Series)
~~~~~~
I'm a little late in picking up on this, but skateboard impresario Tony Hawk appeared on an episode of 'Complete Savages'. If I'm not mistaken, this puts him over the top to qualify for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.
('Complete Savages')
~~~~~~~
Senator John Kerry, Charlie Rose
('Tanner On Tanner')

LA TRIVIATA
'American Goddess' is a reality show found only in the TV Universe, similar to 'Extreme Makeover' or 'The Swan'.
('Without A Trace')

The TV Universe has its own version of that old chestnut of a safe driving movie, "Blood On The Highway"; one which features "Officer Steven Cox" (who looks remarkably like Mad Max a la the Village People....)
('Complete Savages')

RE-CASTAWAYS
Jason and Barbara Reshetar of Coon Rapids, Min.., wrote to TV Guide to suggest that Gary Sinise should portray a younger version of Doctor Leonard McCoy. But I'd say Sinise is just about the right age to portray McCoy as he was in the original 'Star Trek' series; perhaps a few years before.

THE BIG HIATUS
KA D'ARGO
Ka D'Argo was a huge, bellicose Luxan — a race of fierce, much-feared warriors known throughout the galaxy for their propensity to conquer anything or anyone in their path. His first reaction to most every situation was to attack first and ask questions never.

D'Argo was framed for the murder of his Sebacean wife, Lo'Laan who was actually killed by her brother, Macton, in no small part due to the belief among many Sebaceans that a Sebacean/Luxan pairing was miscegenation, and an abomination.

D'Argo's son, Jothee, disappeared and was later found to be enslaved. Jothee was rescued and reunited with his father. Sadly, their reunion ended in tragedy when D'Argo's lover, Chiana, betrayed him by having an affair with Jothee.

D'Argo had more difficulty connecting with others than the rest of Moya's crew, although he respected Aeryn as a fellow warrior, and he considered Crichton a brother-in-arms and a trusted friend. He also had great respect for Zhaan and was deeply in love with Chiana until she betrayed him. (Any kind of good relationship between D'Argo and Rygel, however, was likely a lost cause.)

During the Peacekeeper Wars, D'Argo was speared fatally by attacking Scarrans. In a move that must have reminded John Crichton of Mickey Rooney in "Ambush Bay", Ka D'Argo chose to stay behind with enough weapons to give Crichton and Chiana and the others time to get away.

JOOLUSHKO TUNAI FENTA HOVALIS
Jool was a young Interion woman of remarkable academic accomplishment. Strikingly beautiful, with orange-and-yellow-hued skin offset by a mane of wild, silken hair, she had a fiery temper that matched her wild looks.

Raised in a peaceful star system, Jool attended a rigorous series of universities and rose through the meritocracy to earn respect and privilege. Her background, social status and intellect gave her exposure to the arts and the graces of a finer life. Jool was brilliant, but she'd never been tested in the real world. Despite her prodigious factual base, she hadn't proved her mettle in hard experience.

While on an expedition to the other side of the galaxy, her group of fellow young intellectuals was hijacked and forced into slavery. Near death, her body was sold for medical research. For 22 cycles, Jool was in frozen stasis, her organs earmarked for sale to anyone who had the money to purchase them.

However, before she could be dissected and carved up, John Crichton and the others aboard Moya rescued her.

After more than a cycle with the crew of Moya, Jool finally left to follow her own chosen destiny. With the help of Crichton, Chiana and D'Argo, she freed the priests of Arnessk from a 12,000-cycle-long state of suspended animation. As a scholar of Arnesskan history, Jool decided to stay behind with the priests to ease their transition into a vastly changed galaxy.

It was there where she met her fate as Emperor Staleek of the Scarrans ordered the temple of the Eidolons to be vaporized.

"HARVEY"
That was Crichton's name for the neuro-cyborg non-entity that may or may not have been living in his mind. It resembled Scorpius and was a constant mental irritant as it tried to worm its way into whatever part of Crichton's mind housed the knowledge of wormhole technology.

Once that knowledge was removed by the entity known as "Einstein", "Harvey" 's reason for being ended. He faded away in a scene reminiscent of "2001: A Space Odyssey" (although he preferred to go out with a bang like Slim Pickens in "Dr. Strangelove").

WAR MINISTER AKHNA
Ding dong, the Bitch is dead.

HIERARCH YONDALAO
[THE EIDOLON GRAND CONCILIATOR]
He was blasted to death by Akhna before his powers of conciliation and peace could take hold over Emperor Staleek of the Scarrans.

GRAND CHANCELLOR OF THE PEACEKEEPERS
He was poisoned by his pregnant consort Commandant Mele-On Grayza, who did not want the Peacekeepers to even consider the option of seeking a truce with the Scarrans.
(All from 'Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars')

BABY BOOM
Out of the sorrows suffered by the crew of Moya, there came some small cause for joy - John Crichton and Aeryn Sun were married and their baby was born.

It's a boy!

And in honor of their fallen comrade, they have named him "D'Argo Sun Crichton".

UNSTUCK IN PRIME TIME
On January 13, 1968, Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Concert was broadcast to millions of inmates across the U.S. That night, in the melee following the broadcast, an inmate was murdered and quickly disposed of in a prison outside of Philly.

Detective Lilly Rush and the 'Cold Case' team re-opened the case when human bones were found at the site of the now shuttered prison. When it turned out that the bones didn't belong to the dead inmate, the team had to begin a new search for the person who was murdered at the prison 36 years before.

The prisoner was thought to have disappeared when a riot broke out, while listening to Cash's 1968 Folsom Prison concert, and that show is referenced during several parts of the episode with eight of the songs used during the flashback sequences.

The following is the original set list of the Folsom Prison concert recorded live at Folsom Prison on January 13, 1968:
Folsom Prison Blues
I'm Busted
Dark As The Dungeon
I Still Miss Someone
Cocaine Blues
25 Minutes To Go
I'm Not In Your Town To Stay
Orange Blossom Special
The Long Black Veil
Send A Picture Of Mother
The Wall
Dirty Old Egg-Sucking Dog
Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
Joe Bean
Jackson (with June)
I Got A Woman (with June)
John Henry
I Got Stripes
Green, Green Grass Of Home
Greystone Chapel
l Give My Love To Rose

MULTI-VERSE MEDIA
The daughter of former Presidential contender Jack Tanner isn't the only Alex Tanner out there in the many fictional universes. Here's one from the literary universe, crime novel section, who can be found across the pond:

Alex Tanner
Created by Anabel Donald
Sometimes a journalist can be considered a private eye, and sometimes they can't...

Britain's ALEX TANNER doesn't have to worry. She's both. She's a part-time private investigator, and a part-time freelance TV researcher, with a bit more grit than the average female eye. A product of countless foster homes during her troubled childhood, she's grown up to be a determinedly self-reliant and fiercely independent loner, with a taste for hardboiled private eye fiction.

Not that she's a complete loner. Her relationship with TV producer Barty O'Neill is a total delight and great fun. Alex calls the turf of London's Notting Hill home, but the mean streets Alex goes down are a far cry from the aggressive trendiness of any recent Hugh Grant/Julia Roberts eye candy.

A well-written, engrossing series, with something to say. The pyschological development of women and the emotional issues of troubled youth are recurring themes.
NOVELS
An Uncommon Murder (1992)
In at the Deep End (1994)
The Glass Ceiling (1994)
The Loop (1996)
Destroy Unopened (1999)
Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.

CRITIC'S CORNER
" 'The Office' was a mockumentary that dared to be astutely subtle in a medium that has beaten the quiet moments out of scripts for years. It never tried to pander, was uncompromisingly British and pulled off -- particularly in the second season -- what is so difficult to do for comedies: creating drama from painful, incisively cutting humor.

The humor in 'The Office' has always been tinged with sadness. And it has always been spot-on insightful. But what's so wonderfully realized in 'The Office Special' is the sense of closure, which comes without gimmicks or sell-out dramatics.

'The Office Special' is a grand finale to one of television's best, smartest and funniest series ever. "
- Tim Goodman
San Francisco Chronicle


"The hearts and minds of people at cross purposes have been the lifeblood of 'Farscape', which was always a character drama employing sci-fi elements, not vice versa. That's why its adult cult boasts more professional and female followers than other 'genre' shows infatuated with less-mature tech talk and arcane hierarchies.

Here, it's every man and woman for him - or her- self. Gadgets and political particulars merely provide milieu for fevered passions run amok. All the main characters are outcasts, banding together on Moya as they forge new lives alone in a hostile universe. When even your ship has an opinion about what to do next, conflicts get pretty interesting. Villains aren't necessarily evil here, which the finale finely reiterates, and the most provocative battles take place not between characters but inside their heads as they struggle with identity and meaning while running for cover.

'Farscape' creator Rockne S. O'Bannon and executive producers Henson and David Kemper work with such clever maturity that few viewers notice, for instance, that the show has at least as many women characters as men, or that they're virtually interchangeable in terms of smarts, strength and status."
- Diane Werts
New York Newsday

BCnU!
Tele-Toby